'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
