Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
