fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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