So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Randomize
