K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize