I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
