It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
