I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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