You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
