just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize