How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
