she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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