i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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