Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
