You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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