Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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