very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
He shit in the fireplace
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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