i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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