she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
