the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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