The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
