your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
bring money and cleavage
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
