somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
