My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
