Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
