Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
the liver wants what the liver wants
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
