Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Randomize
