Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
