So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
