Banned from zoo.
Again?
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
