I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize