I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
