talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
