Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
