Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
