I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize