I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
