no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
