I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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