haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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