bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
