that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Randomize
