I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
