I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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