And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
