Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
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You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
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The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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