It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life