glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
