oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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