How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize