it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
You're a waste of cheezeits
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
