I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
