watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
