just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
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that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
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Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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