I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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