You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
