He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
