turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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