You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
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