do herpes really smell.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
