All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
