You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
