i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
